


He said what?

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Parody, Romance, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-12
Updated: 2006-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-30 10:44:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10161395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: What does the Hero of the wizard world do when his long term lover pops the question?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Standard disclaimer. They are not mine.

Beta's are Bonfoi_sbkar and Minx_17. Thanks to both.

 

“He said what!? I’m coming right over. Put the kettle on, I will be there shortly,” Hermione Granger said. Harry didn’t have time to even get to the kitchen before the front doorbell rang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps, before I start to tell you why Hermione Granger had flown as quickly as her tights would take her, and was now firmly engrossed in conversation with my ‘soon to be’ fiancé, Harry Potter. I say ‘soon to be’, because he fainted when I asked him to marry me.

OK, I have to confess that I was a little scared at that. I mean, come on! How often does the most powerful wizard in the known world faint? 

Yes, yes. I put him comfortably on his sofa and went home. You see, Harry is a creature of habit—apart from the passing out, which was a complete shock. But, the recovery from the shock, the call to his best friend, and the panic—I pretty much knew before I asked him that that would be his reaction. I then slipped back behind Granger anonymously covered in Harry’s schooldays treasure.

You see, although our relationship was supposed to be kept ‘hush-hush’, it was widely know amongst Harry’s friends that he was in love, and that ‘love’ in his life was none other than yours truly. His friends were quite good about the whole thing really. Ronald ‘the ginger-minger’ Weasley had of course turned the customary shade of green that he always did when he was upset. And, oh how I love to upset him!

The Mudblood… Ha! You were waiting for me to say that, weren’t you? Oh, come on—I don’t do things like that anymore. I mean Granger, honestly. Always was a clever bint that one. She said that she knew as soon as we finished school, that Harry and I were destined for each other. It all made sense to her, as it does to me, too.

So, it seems fitting that I am under Harry’s Invisibility Cloak, watching as Harry pours his heart out to Granger about the events of the day.

“Oh, Harry. What did you say? I hope you said yes!”

She is on my side, good old Hermione, always did like her. It is amazing how much younger Harry looks when he is worried. Years just seem to leave him, and in there place resides a small boy scared out of his mind. It is cute in a way, but I also feel worried that he won’t be able to come back to me.

“Harry, what did you do? Please, don’t tell me you said no? He loves you, you do know that?”

There she goes again, making me like her just a little bit more.

“I don’t think he would want me now, I sort of dropped off after he said it.” 

Dropped off, I laugh to myself…faint boy, better be careful not to faint again. I will make you pay for that later, in a very nice way of course.

“You fainted again, didn’t you?”   
Ha! Sprung! She really is the clever clogs, isn’t she?

“It wasn’t that bad…I just sort of went light-headed, that’s all.”

“Oh, Harry.”

Take your hand of his knee! What cheek, that knee is mine and mine alone. I will be having words with that minx.

“I think you should call him. Do you know this could be a sign? I bumped into that old fraud, Trelawney, in Diagon Alley last week. She was all bog eyes and brain waves. Arms flailing around telling me to ‘Beware the Ides of March’. She then went all limp and carried on walking into the nearest shop. I didn’t give it a second thought until now.”

What is the girl on about? Oh. ‘The Ides of March’, that is today. Bloody hell!

“March 15th, Harry, today’s date. Trelawney told me to beware the Ides of March. She must have foreseen your need for my help.”

“I think I will call him, and we can have a chat, and then hopefully sort this out.”

So, they carried on talking about this, and that. Harry didn’t make any further comments about whether he would, or wouldn’t say ‘yes’. And do you think he tried to call me? No. 

Granger picked up her coat. Yes, she was back to being Granger, he didn’t call me. She kept him talking, the insufferable bitch. And, finally! She left. 

I stood as quiet as a church mouse, waiting for Harry’s next move. And guess what he does? Buggers off to bed. I mean, on the brink of the most important decision he is likely to make and what does Harry-Bloody-Pottie do? He goes to bed. 

Well, I throw the cloak off my shoulders and make to leave, when I hear it. 

SQUELCH….

Sounded like a really noisy aerosol. I crept back over to the couch, picked up the cloak, threw it over my shoulders, and stalked upstairs after him. And what do you think I saw?

Harry’s clothes littering the staircase and the hallway to our bedroom. Naturally, I started to become aroused. You _have_ seen his body. Phew!! I silently creep into the doorway to our bedroom, and take a peek in. 

Harry languished on the bed, a large can of Spray Cream in his hand. The word **YES** displayed on his chest in thick cream, just begging to be licked off.

“You can come out now, lover boy!” he said. So I let the cloak drop, my eyes fixated on the human buffet before me. I banish my clothes, and taking a stride to the bed, thank my lucky stars that Harry Potter is going to marry me, Draco Malfoy. 

Ides of March, indeed!


End file.
